Inward rotation

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 “I’m broke” has been my go to line lately. My answer to every other question ends with a simple answer,” I’m broke.”

Broke physically?

yeah

Broke mentally?

Very much!!!

Kay, what about finance?

Can't even afford mentos right now.


Try to find a solution? 

Nah. Let me take a nap.  I can do it better.       

      

When I was in my early teens I thought I would have been a millionaire by the time I’m in my twenties. Okay okay, not a millionaire but at least a thousandaire. But here I’m about to complete two long decades on the earth without earning a single penny. And it sucks. Do you know what sucks more than this? Thought that after a decade I will be in my thirties and after another decade I will be in my forties, then fifties, then sixties, then... Okay, I gotta stop here. Otherwise, I’ll be cutting my ticket to heaven(Gotta assume well about myself) today only.


Somewhere I read something like,” I‘m too young to be the age I’m gonna be on my next birthday.” Whoever wrote this bruh I feel you. Let’s talk over a cup of tea.


Amidst all this chaos, where I’m still struggling to fall in love my childhood friend chose to get married. In the meantime, there is one song going viral on TikTok which goes like,” घरजम गर्न उमेरमै बेस हुन्छ चाउरी परे कसले पो पत्त्याउछ।“ And people my age are actually posting their marriage photos in this song. 


People of my age, even younger ones, are ready to bear the responsibility of marriage. And there is me who can't even take own responsibility and most importantly who still has so much to do.


I have to travel the world(which I obviously can’t cause I’m broke, I gotta earn money first), get my doctorate(I’m doing my bachelors in AFU), sing “बेवफा बेवफा निक्ला है तु “ in front of my ex’s home who betrayed me(Well for that I need to have at least one unfaithful ex), I definitely wanna bail on someone’s big fat wedding(okay, this sounds easier)…..I  have got a long list.  I will go into details some other day.


My mental health gives up every single time something negative happens. Then there is a repetitive cycle of calming myself down, meditation(which lasts barely 2 days), positive thinking, self-care. And finally, finally, some moment of mental peace and guess what my mental instability is knocking the door again.        


And about my social life. I have had 5/6 close friends since my childhood. And this number neither goes up nor down(To be honest, sometimes it goes down). I haven’t gotten attached to any new people in recent 5 years. So, my social life kinda sucks too.      


Though everything in my life is a mess at the moment. I’m done complaining for today. Will be continuing this story some other day.


Have a good day/night/evening reading my not so sad story!!!

Comments

  1. Manish YadavOctober 31, 2021 at 6:03 PM

    The writing is so spontaneous and involving!
    Waiting for the next🙊

    ReplyDelete

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