Circle Of Life

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Do you remember the poem ”Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?” I think most of you do remember. It used to be my favorite poem in my childhood and I always believed that the stars are small, gentle, and soft like cotton. But reality hit hard, the stars were never small and gentle. Instead, it was a giant ball of fire and a dream of decorating my room with those little stars shattered the same day when I acknowledged the truth, and by that time I kinda understood that I cannot have everything that I want. 


The one thing I have understood by now is growing up is not easy. I don't know why but along with the time I can no more be childish, stupid, impractical, and stubborn. I still remember how I used to sit in the middle of the road and start crying if my parents won’t fulfill my wish. But it’s not the same now, as an adult, I can’t do that if I repeat such things then people are surely gonna take me to the mental hospital. With an increase in age, we lose our true happiness. Just remember how we used to be happy when some of our relatives buy us a bar of chocolate but now we are behind success and money with a stressed mind and so-called practicality. No such things like a bar of chocolates and gifted toys can make us happy anymore.


While writing this I am remembering the song ” Feri Kaha aauxa ra ghumera yo baalapan ko umera.” Exactly, now my childhood is just a memory. I wish I could be the same stubborn, immature, scoundrel, and good for nothing child again. Remembering my childhood, it is quite funny how I wanted to be an adult as soon as possible back then. I used to get fascinated by looking grown-up ones going to the office, traveling on their own, no one to scold, a purse full of money( while I had to cry at least once to get 10 rupees from parents). But now I have known struggle behind a purse full of money, difficulty going to an office every day, huge responsibility and duty.


Sometimes I get so irritated with my boring, practical grown-up lifestyle. I dream of the spot away from city lights, busy schedules, chaos, worthless competitions, social media, and so-called facilitated perfect life. The place where I can revive my childhood, where I can breathe fearlessly, where I get all the freedom I deserve, where I can have late night chit chat with the stars and the moons, where rain needs no permission to touch me, where I don’t need to pretend to be anyone who I am not, Where I shouldn’t take the support of sleeping tablets to have a peaceful night. There won’t be anyone questioning about my dresses, my late-night arrivals, my friends circle.


Yes, I know no such perfect place does exist. This is the real world and I have to deal with it. But at least I want to break the stereotype of living life as an adult. I won’t be behaving mature, practical, smart, and won’t hide my emotions all the time. I will be immature, impractical, idiot, stubborn, and will even cry sometimes ( As a child I thought elder people never cry). In spite of regretting losing my beautiful childhood, I want to make my adulthood also as cheerful as my childhood. I want my adulthood and old age to be as beautiful as my childhood.

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