Even The Moon Has Scars

It has not always been easy for me to deal with my so-called imperfection, fear of being judged, antisocial personality, and my insecurities. I was never able to examine my potential, skills, and many more things among people because I was always afraid of being misjudged and I always had fear of what if people didn’t get my view. I still have some of these fears subconsciously. Still before doing something new and exploring myself, unknowingly the question “what if “raises in my mind.   

In spite of all these things I somehow have managed to grow as a strong woman and love myself along with my flaws and my fears. When I was in my early teenage, one of my friends made me realize that I have a different tone of voice compared to others. And afterwards, there was always some unconscious fear in my mind that” what if people find my voice irritating, what if they laugh at me, what if…………….. “. Fighting with my own mental state was not that easy but nowadays it is completely ok for me to have a different tone of voice. There are many people in the world who don’t have their voice but I do have it. It is not the matter that it is different or it doesn’t sound good. What really matters is I can speak in front of people and I can convey my message to them.

Nowadays I feel that perfection is just an assumption that has been hyped by our society. If someone fits in the thesis of perfection created by our society they are perfect ones but when someone doesn’t fit in it they aren't worth it or they are imperfect. I don’t know in what category this society has kept me and it is completely fine if society sees me as an imperfect one because I do feel the same about me. If I am imperfect I am so happy to be one because it has gifted me the best memories and best stories to recite. If I would have been a perfect one I would have been successful in everything in my first attempt then I would not have any backstories about my success. As I am an imperfect, immature one I do have stories behind all my success because success never laid in my feet. I worked for it, I learned from my mistake, and most importantly during this time I started to love myself as I am. I started to learn from my mistakes and was not afraid of making mistakes. 

We are all afraid to be judged and so do I. Being misjudged is something that most of us can not afford. Do you know why there is stage fright or why we lack public confidence? It is all because of fear of judgment that people may not listen to us, what if we speak something wrong, and many more. It is not that I am not afraid of being judged. I am writing all these things with great confidence but if someone asks me to express it among the crowd or among some unknown people. It will definitely be difficult for me as well. I do know that People judge everyone, no matter what they have done or what they have not but knowing these things only doesn’t work. You need to practice for it, you should try for it and moreover, you should fight for it and nowadays I am fighting for it. So that I can get rid of prison, that is “what if”.

Actually, people are never antisocial; they are shy, introverted, and afraid to speak their hearts out. While extroverts are able to get close with whoever they meet and chill with them, introverts need time to get comfortable with a person and environment. It is not the case that shy people don’t have anything to speak or they don’t have any knowledge, it is just that they need time. If we give some time and listen to the person who is termed antisocial by our society then we will know how much knowledge they have than our so-called talented individuals. People also termed me antisocial. Rather than trying to understand what I feel or what I think and listen to what I have to say. They always looked at me as one who doesn't love companions. I was shattered experiencing such kind of behaviour from society which is proud of getting fulfilled with a crowd of intelligent ones. When no one tried to listen to me then I decided to make them listen to me through my confidence and boldness and I worked for it and am still working for it and will always work for it for my betterment. The process of learning never comes to an end. Sixty years old man can learn from a thirteen years old teenager. So learning has no time and I do want to learn things till my death.

Life is a long journey and you should complete your journey efficiently. Yes sometime you may feel that your journey has come to end but you should know that it is your journey and you can restart whenever you want. You don’t need to prove my existence to the world but to yourself. Most importantly it is ok to be judged, it is ok to fail, it is ok to be antisocial(according to the society) but it is never ok to give up on yourself. You can always grow as a better person. There should not be any regret remembering your life journey in death bed. At the end of your book called life, you must be able to smile remembering each chapter of your book. So we should never leave the opportunity to grow as a person.